Chapter 3/ Drawing People Together.

This Chapter was simply amazing. I had a tough time stepping away from the book on this one. It was very satisfying reading about the forces of Social Attraction because it is one of my main interests in life. Im fascinated with the idea of knowingly how to change communication based off of any dyadic attraction.In other words....I want to know how to be charming, I want to enhance my verbal and non verbal communication skills.... and I want to be able to distinguish a certain vibe of myself at times where I would be appealing and at times where I wouldn't be as appealing...(For example: "I dont like you, I hear bad things, I feel bad vibes")......Im not gonna throw on jeans and and a button down for you...("I like you, you dress good and you smell like apples")....On that note Ill go shower and shave the hour before we hang out..Spray a little cologne,,and call it a day..or perhaps maybe 4 days..Because I have "Blogz 4 days"



In my opinion this video is hysterical.Do I get away with saying LOL?? I just thought it was perfect for the topic and it worked out to be humorous as well.

FATAL ATTRACTION!! SOUNDS DEADLY.....Nah its not at all Im just kidding.

The book defines it as an occurring when the very qualities that draw us to someone eventually contribute to relational break up.(Felmlee 1995) Wow..what are human beings generally stupid....Are we attracted to the inevitable existence of let downs? A kid I know from school started to hook up with this girl.. He said the main thing that he thought was attractive was her high sexual appetite.... and also the fact that she was cheating on her boyfriend as well. He said it was "hot" lol (moron)....Unfortunately about five months later when their relationship got to a neutral level, the guy only finds out that she was fooling around with another dude..Bridges were burned, never repaired....Relationship Done...............Isnt that a trip or what?."What goes around comes around." Thats harsh..and definitely without question a "fatal attraction". It defies logic according to personal satisfaction....In all honesty, up until today I just thought "Fatal Attraction" was a catchy name to a Michael Douglas movie. Then again I never saw the dam film.

HALO!!!.....Most over rated game ever by the way. I just thought of this when I read about what researchers call "The Halo Effect". "The tendency of associating good looks with a wide range of other positively qualities,often called "The Halo Effect" or what-is-beautiful-is-good stereotype, leads people to believe that physically attractive individuals are more likely to succeed, and they are more sociable, popular,intelligent, and competent than their less attractive counterparts"(Dion,1986;Dion, Berscheid, and Walster,1972)

Its almost like the game Halo actually.. Or you can use it as a way to remembering what "The Halo Effect" is. Halo looks like a phenomenal game in a communal bias, but after awhile it loses its taste..Your expecting it to be the best game out on the market because it looks unbelievable, but it just doesnt have that anticipation or excitement that gives us satisfaction in a game. The best graphics isnt all that matters is it? What am I really looking for in a game? Ideas, questions and false hopes similar to those are all induced by "The Halo Effect"

This was a big help in activating my mind when I was reading the chapter. By looking at this helped me absorb and retain more information actually.

Its similar to an equation. Notice the equalization it induces to the one word attraction in the middle. Reading the chapter with this in mind was extremely helpful. I cant stress that enough.

Chapter 2 / Communicating Identity

Hello people, thats my student ID card here at Manhattanville College. It shows my name, ID number and says that I am a student. But is this my true Identity? It is only a plastic card that has a picture of my face.

After reading through the chapter, any "scholar" should have a better understanding of what really makes up a person's identity. According to the text, the identity of your self is based on a complex theory of how we communicate with others. Supposedly the theory can be viewed through "Four Lenses of Identity"(Hecht 1993)

 I. Personal

II. Enactment

IIIRelationship                                                               

IV. Communal

The personal aspect basically means that we perceive ourselves to have certain attributes and characteristics that other people don't see. Almost like a picture that we take of ourselves but you are the only one that looks at it.

The enactment frame can be viewed by how we communicate with others. The way we relate and reflect to other people determines who you are. In a nut shell, if your shy, outgoing, funny, you smell good, etc... all of that influences how people view you. For example, if you know a social group that view you through a glass of being funny, handsome, and charming...and they tell you that you possess these characteristics..That social group has identified a part of YOU!

The relationship lense tells us that our identities are based on what kind of relationships we possess, and how we manage those relationships reflects a part of your self. For example, we act accordingly whether your with your girlfriend, parents, siblings, friends. I know for sure that I am looked at differently according to those small social groups. The different views of relationships are small factors of identity.

The communal frame says that our identities tie to our cultural, and environmental backround. Different norms and values make up a persons identity as well. For example, being part of the baseball team here at Manhattanville ingrains a characteristic about my self that other people see and judge. Whether you are aware of it or not, if people say that I am a stereotypical jock or athlete, maybe I am.......

 Even so..Its still all in theory.........

Since we are in theory, Im going to say that those Four Lenses of Identity can now be defined as a puzzle containing a limited (theres only four) amount of pieces made perfectly to scale, that give us an infinite (every one is different and unique) amount of characteristics to apply to any given person's identity......Fair enough I guess....

The chapter goes off on outlining factors that also relate to identity. But this theory right here to me is the basis for it. The text it self is very broad in the aspect of providing a lot of content. Some of which is still all in theory.

As long as I stay focused on the key content in the text, even for upcoming chapters I'll still have "BLOGZ 4 DAYS"--- Stephen Candal

Chapter 1

By reading chapter one in "Close Encounters", I was able to have a better understanding that communication in general defines all interpersonal relationships. It explains that communicating with people is the only way to have meaningful and effective relationships. The chapter emphasises that the levels of relationships are determined by how well you communicate with another person. There are many different factors that alter a dyad such as what sex, age, race, and their marital status. These factors alone can alter communications between people.

Now look at this..Thats my boy Johnathan on the left and thats me on the right. We are good friends and all that so we just decided to discuss the book a little bit. That is normal for friends to do....right? Yeah it is but sometimes its hard to take him seriously....If you didn't notice, Johnathan is communicating to me that he is a Mets fan..No Bueno! The hat is showing me that he likes the Mets, without even announcing it orally.Immediately Im gonna have a grudge, baseball is my life and passion. So even though hes explaining aspects about the book to me.....(you cant really notice but im staring at the mets hat!) the entire time im just annoyed. That small piece of communication of him wearing that hat altered my feelings for him, which defines our relationship to be replaceable, or almost unwanted. Luckily...........I made that junk up but its still gets to the point. However, he is a mets fan and I am a yankee fan. It doesn't bother me at all actually....thats pretty much it for  now/ "I got blogz 4 days"--Stephen Candal